Joy as a Form of Resistance or Empowerment, Particularly in the Face of Stress or Trauma
Seventy-five years after the liberation of Auschwitz, in January 2020, hundreds of holocaust survivors returned with their families to Oswiecim, Poland. Together, they walked beneath the stark and chilling reminder of cruelty and inhumanity, the iron arch of the Arbeit Macht Frei gate, German for “Work Makes You Free.” It was a cruel deception as the prisoners were subjected to forced labour under horrific conditions, and for most, the camps were sites of mass murder, not freedom.
Among them was Tova Friedman, the child survivor who shared her story in her famous book, The Daughter of Auschwitz. She recalled that this gathering was not about tears or sorrow; the people who gathered there neither cried nor lamented. It was about life. It was about defiance. Survivors stood not as broken souls but as living proof that joy could outlast horror. Some even were in striped uniforms, which were once forced upon them, now wearing them as symbols of victory, of endurance, and of pride (Friedman & Brabant, 2022).
Tova says in her book,
“Humanity often faces extraordinarily difficult challenges that seem to be never-ending. But I believe we are all born with natural resilience. The ability to overcome is within each and every one of us.” (Friedman & Brabant, 2022, p. 288)
But what does give us that ability?
Barbara Fredrickson, a renowned social psychologist and researcher in the field of positive psychology who developed the famous Broaden and Build Theory of positive emotions in 1998, explained it in terms of positive emotions. According to Fredrickson, positive emotions, including joy, not only broaden one’s momentary mindset, thoughts, attention, and openness, but also build long-term resources, including psychological (resilience, coping), social (stronger relationships), and even physical health resources. These resources help people better withstand or recover from stress and adversity (Fredrickson, 2001).
What is Joy?
In 2016, His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and writer Douglas Abrams came together to co-author the book, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. It grew out of a weeklong conversation between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu in Dharamsala, India. These two spiritual leaders and close friends from very different faith traditions spent their days reflecting on one simple but profound question: How can we live with joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering?
A critical insight from their dialogue is the distinction between happiness and joy. Happiness, as the Archbishop explains, is often dependent on external circumstances, but joy is more profound, more enduring, and grounded in the heart and mind. Joy is our birthright, more fundamental than fleeting pleasure. Joy is not simply an emotion but a trait that can be cultivated into an enduring way of being. He further explained that true joy comes from within, through compassion, kindness, love, and the cultivation of inner values, rather than from wealth, power, or status.
The book identifies the following obstacles to joy:
Fear, Stress, Anxiety: natural but can overwhelm if unchecked.
Frustration, Anger: energy that can corrode relationships.
Sadness, Grief: painful but also sources of connection and compassion. • Despair and Turmoil: the world’s injustices can weigh heavily.
Loneliness, Envy, Adversity, Illness, Fear of Death: universal struggles that limit joy but can be transformed with perspective
Furthermore, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu outline four qualities of the mind and four of the heart that sustain joy:
• Mind Pillars:
Perspective: seeing from multiple angles reduces suffering.
Humility: grounding joy in shared humanity.
Humor: laughter and play as natural expressions of joy.
Acceptance: embracing reality as the starting point for change.
• Heart Pillars:
Forgiveness: freeing ourselves from past wounds.
Gratitude: appreciation for life as it is.
Compassion: connecting deeply with others’ suffering.
Generosity: giving as a wellspring of joy.
Joy in the Face of Suffering
The book also reminds us that while we are fragile beings, it is often through suffering, heartbreak, and weakness that we come to discover joy. Adversity, rather than hardening us, can ennoble us. Joy does not erase suffering, but it gives us the resilience to endure it.
As the authors write:
“Discovering more joy does not, I’m sorry to say, save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak. In fact, we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.” (Tutu & Abrams, 2016, p. 17)
The Dalai Lama, who has endured immense loss and suffering, including being forced to leave his homeland and live as a refugee, explains that joy does not mean denying or forgetting pain. Instead, it is about shifting our perspective. When we turn our attention outward and recognize that others, too, suffer, we realize we are not alone.
The authors point to a Tibetan practice of mind training called Lojong, where a person takes whatever suffering and adversity they encounter and transforms it into an opportunity for growth and inner strength.
To illustrate this understanding, I once shared an example with a client: imagine being in a car accident that leaves your vehicle severely damaged, perhaps beyond repair. In that moment, you have a choice. You can focus on anger, grief, and frustration at the loss of your car. Or, you can choose gratitude, celebrating the fact that you walked away unharmed, still alive.
Archbishop Tutu adds that suffering also deepens our capacity for empathy and compassion. The book even offers practical ways to cultivate these qualities in the very moments when we feel overwhelmed by pain.
1Think of where you are experiencing suffering or adversity.
Think of others who are experiencing the same situation. Can you think of others who might be in a similar situation or are perhaps even worse off? Can you feel empathy and compassion for them?
How might this situation be useful to you? What might be gained from this experience? What lessons can be learned? How might this circumstance help you grow and mature as a person?
Try to feel grateful for the opportunity that this suffering and adversity has given you. 5. Try saying the sentence: “May my suffering spare others from a similar suffering.” How can you use your suffering to alleviate the suffering of others? Can your actions help to prevent others from experiencing similar suffering, or contribute to reducing the suffering of others?
(Tutu & Abrams, 2016, p. 218)
Another well-known Buddhist practice introduced in the book is Tonglen, which is a culmination of the Compassion Cultivation Training. In this practice, one consciously takes in the suffering of others and, in return, offers them love, courage, strength, and joy.
The practice of Tonglen can also ease our own suffering. By shifting our attention away from constant self-concern, what the Archbishop described as the endless focus on “me, me, me,” we open space for compassion and connection. In doing so, we free ourselves from the weight of our own pain while extending care to others.
The book provides the following guidance to practice Tonglen:
Begin by settling your mind with several long breaths through your nose. 2. Think of someone who is suffering: You can choose a loved one, a friend, or even a whole group of people, such as refugees.
Reflect on the fact that, just like you, they wish to overcome suffering and to be joyful. Try to feel a sense of concern for the well-being of the person or group you are focusing on. Feel deep within your heart the desire for them to be free of suffering.
Taking their suffering: As you inhale, imagine the pain being drawn from their body and dissolving when it encounters the warmth and bright light of your compassionate heart. You can see their pain as dark clouds that are dissolving as they encounter the bright light of your heart. If the idea of taking in others’ suffering is concerning or unsettling, you can imagine their suffering dissolving into a bright orb of light in front of you that is radiating out from your compassionate heart.
Give out your joy: As you exhale, imagine that you are sending the person rays of light filled with your love and compassion, your courage and your confidence, your strength and your joy.
Repeat this practice of taking the suffering and transforming it by giving your joy: If you have done this practice for an individual or loved one, you can extend the practice to others who are suffering all around the world. If you are taking the suffering of someone who is being harmed by others, you can take the cruelty and hatred that is causing the harm and give your love and kindness. If you feel able, you can practice taking on the suffering of all beings and giving them your compassion and your joy. Stay quiet as your love and joy radiate out from your heart.
(Tutu & Abrams, 2016, p. 220)
Joy is a conscious choice, one that, with time, can grow into a habit and even a lasting trait. It does not mean the absence of pain or suffering, but rather the courage to accept them. Joy has the power to lift us beyond our own struggles by nurturing empathy and compassion for the suffering of others, reminding us that we are part of something far greater than ourselves.
Consider the thousands of Holocaust survivors who chose to cherish life and honor the memory of those who could not return. Tova Friedman, one of the youngest survivors of Auschwitz, writes about the importance of remembering the millions who perished under the Nazi regime, so that such atrocities are never repeated. Despite unimaginable trauma, she still celebrates the small joys of being alive, expresses gratitude for her parents, and honors those who suffered even more deeply. In doing so, she transcends her own pain, becoming part of something greater than herself.
When survivors gathered at Auschwitz on the seventy-fifth anniversary of its liberation, they did not come to mourn. They came to celebrate life, resilience, and the enduring human spirit. Their joy was not a denial of suffering, but a recognition that strength and hope can rise even from the darkest chapters of history.
In the same way, practices like Lojong and Tonglen teach us to transform suffering into strength, to rise above hardship and embrace joy as a profound form of resilience in the face of life’s greatest challenges.