The Holidays and Mental Health

Believe it or not, it’s that time of year again. December tends to be filled with holiday festivities, jam-packed schedules, lots of food, family time, and financial stress. Whether or not you have strong feelings about the holidays, you most likely feel the effects on some level. 

The holidays can evoke all sorts of feelings in people. It’s important that you consider what you may need over the course of the next month to manage some stress that may accompany all the holiday cheer. 

First and foremost, scheduling downtime can be a lifesaver. While you may love bouncing from one social engagement to the next or filling your time with purchasing gifts or baking, we all need some alone time to recoup. Alone time will give you an opportunity to process and reflect on how you are doing, understand what your needs are, and simply just restore your energy reserve. Give yourself permission to say no to something that perhaps may leave you feeling drained or overwhelmed. It’s okay to miss something so that you can take care of yourself. 

Next, think about setting realistic expectations. Many of us struggle with setting expectations so high that we end up feeling discouraged and disappointed in the end. While it is okay to be both discouraged and disappointed, when we are realistic about what we are and are not capable of  and consider what evidence has pointed to in the past, it allows us to find freedom in managing our expectations, accepting the outcome and feeling a bit less burdened or frustrated throughout the process. 

Another way to help manage stress during the holidays is to spend some time processing what is in your control. Having a sense of control allows us to regulate with a little bit more fluidity. You may not be able to control who is at your family gatherings, but you can control how you decide to show up, the information you choose to disclose or not, the boundaries you decide to set, and the amount of time you choose to spend with your family. Think about what would be most helpful in giving you a sense of control and consider what control you can let go of a bit. 

Lastly, think about the various holiday rituals and traditions that you would like to engage in. Maybe there are some traditions that just need to go. Perhaps they bring up old icky memories or they are simply no longer serving you. What are some alternative activities you and your loved one(s) could engage in that would bring you a sense of joy, excitement, or peace? You can ask other friends or colleagues for some fun ideas, or just open up a Google search. Remember that you have an opportunity to create the kind of holiday season that will provide lasting memories. 

I hope in the busyness of this season that you take time to honor any feelings that come up for you. Every feeling you have is both real and valid. While not every holiday season goes as hoped or planned, my wish is that you are able to find glimpses of joy and moments of authenticity. 

With warmth, 

Annie Bretches, LPC