Building a Routine That Bends, Not Breaks

Fall is here, and honestly, it can feel like the holidays are right around the corner (because they are!). While the holidays can bring so much connection, excitement, and joy, they can also bring a lot of different emotions and, sometimes, a pretty big disruption to our normal routines. 

Disruptions to our routines aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes they’re exactly what we need. Maybe you randomly meet a friend for coffee on a weeknight, stay up a little later talking with family, or take a Saturday morning to do absolutely nothing. Those moments can be important, too. 

Other times, though, the disruption isn’t quite as fun. Maybe you’re organizing events for family visiting, dealing with unexpected financial stress, your schedule suddenly gets busier, or the darker weather makes it harder to find the motivation to keep up with your morning workout. Before you know it, the routine that felt so normal a few weeks ago doesn’t really exist anymore. 

I get it. I’ve been there, too! 

But instead of carrying the mindset of, “I’ll just restart that routine or goal in the new year,” what if we approached it a little differently? What if we focused less on completely rebuilding our routine and more on finding a few things we can count on now? 

Routine Doesn’t Mean Every Day Has to Be Perfect 

When we hear the word “routine,” I think it’s easy to picture a perfectly planned schedule where every hour of the day is accounted for. But that’s not really what routine has to mean. 

A routine can simply be the things you consistently do that give your day some structure. It can create predictability, stability, consistency, and even a sense of confidence as you see yourself following through. And your routine doesn’t have to look the same every single day. 

Life happens. Plans change. You have a bad day. You get sick. Your work schedule changes. Someone needs you. You miss an appointment. You get overwhelmed. 

The goal isn’t to create a routine that never gets disrupted. That probably isn’t realistic.The goal is to create a routine that can bend without completely breaking. 

So, what's an anchor? 

One of my favorite ideas from talking about routines is the idea of an anchor. An anchor is something you consistently do around the same time or in the same order. It’s something you can rely on, even when the rest of your day looks different.

Think about it like this: your entire day doesn’t need to be scheduled down to the minute. Instead, you can have a few constants that help bring you back to a sense of structure. 

Maybe your anchor is a traditional one, like your morning workout. But maybe it’s something much more personal. 

It could be: 

● Waking up before your kids so you have time to drink your coffee and watch your favorite show. 

● Taking an afternoon walk after lunch while listening to a podcast. 

● Making your bed before you leave for the day. 

● Turning your phone off at a certain time so you can actually be present in the evening. ● Having your morning coffee while reading a few pages of a book. 

● Eating dinner at the table instead of in front of the TV. 

Your anchor doesn’t have to look productive to be meaningful. It just needs to be something that helps you feel a little more grounded and connected to your day. 

Your Routine Needs More Than Just Responsibilities 

Another thing I think is important when we talk about routine is remembering that your routine should include more than just the things you have to do. 

A healthy routine can have three different parts: your body, your responsibilities, and your life. Your body might include sleep, eating, hygiene, or movement. Your responsibilities might include work, school, appointments, chores, or other things you need to get done. 

But then there’s your life! Your friends. Your family. Your hobbies. Your recovery. Your fun. The things that give you purpose and enjoyment. 

Sometimes when life gets busy, the first things we cut are the things we actually enjoy. We keep up with work, responsibilities, and everyone else’s needs, but suddenly there’s no time left for ourselves. 

That’s why I think it’s worth asking: 

What does my life actually need right now? 

Maybe it’s one thing to take care of your body, one responsibility you need to stay on top of, and one thing that brings you enjoyment. It doesn’t have to be complicated. 

Motivation Isn’t Always Going to Show Up

And then there’s motivation…..We’ve all had those days where we say, “I’ll do it when I feel like it.” The problem is, we’re not always going to feel like it! 

Motivation comes and goes. Your routine can help you keep moving even when motivation is low. 

Instead of thinking, “I need to feel motivated to do this,” try thinking, “This is just what I do.” 

That doesn’t mean forcing yourself through something when you genuinely need rest. It just means taking some of the decision-making out of it. You don’t have to wake up every morning and decide whether taking care of yourself is worth it. You already decided. 

What Happens When Your Routine Gets Disrupted? 

Here’s the part I think matters the most: your routine will get disrupted. 

You will have bad days. Plans will change. Unexpected things will happen. And sometimes, despite your best intentions, you’ll get completely off track. That doesn’t mean you failed. 

Instead of asking, “Why can’t I stick to anything?” try asking, “What changed, and what can I do from here?” 

A simple reset can look like: 

Recognize what changed. 
Evaluate what you can control. 
Start with one thing. 
Establish your next anchor. 
Try again. 

You Don’t Need a Whole New Routine 

As we head into the busier months of the year, maybe you don’t need to completely rework your routine. Maybe you just need a few things you can count on. 

Pick three things that you want to keep consistent when life gets chaotic. One for your body. One for your responsibilities. And one for your life. 

Your routine should support the life you’re building, not make you feel like you’re constantly failing at keeping up with it. So as the holidays get closer and life inevitably gets a little busier, give yourself permission to adjust.