Do you feel lonely even with your partner in the same room?
Do you find yourselves fighting over seemingly small things?
Has your communication become tense, volatile, or non-exestitant?
Are you looking for more connection, closeness, or affection?
Do you feel like your partner doesn't understand you anymore?
Does it feel like you have become more like roommates than loving partners?
It hurts when relationships reach a point of disconnect and conflict. It is not uncommon for couples to experience conflict at some point in their relationship. Added pressures like work, children, and finances can increase the tension and fights from these can lead to deep emotional wounds. As conflict builds over time, it can feel like the norm, and partners sometimes start changing how they act in the relationships in anticipation of future fights. You might try to work things out on your own but find yourselves falling into the same fights and habits over and over, eventually thinking that this is either the end or that you might not be able to fix it alone.
Resolve can help.
We work with couples to help both partners to identify the damaging patterns of behavior and find new ways of connecting and communicating on a more emotional and empathetic level.
The couple counselor works to help each partner better express themselves and to listen to their partner. Many couples find themselves in a repeating pattern of conflict that they can't break free from. The fights can come from different triggers, but typically have deeper causes that the counselor can help bring to the surface. Once the core issues are discovered, the couple can work through the real reasons for conflict and create new patterns of relating to each other.
You are not alone.
Marriage and committed relationships can offer us the chance to truly know and be known by another person. It can be the most fulfilling experience of our lives, but can also be the most painful. Sometimes, conflict in relationships can reach a point where partners want to make it work, but just don't know how. They come into marriage and couple's counseling sessions saying things like "the love is lost, we can't make it work, we don't have anything in common anymore," and countless other statements expressing pain in the relationship.
There is hope.
You might not have much hope that your relationships can improve, but we have seen couples who experience high levels of conflict and disconnect who find ways to rekindle the love they thought was lost. There is a way out of this pattern of conflict or isolation you have found yourselves in and we can help guide you through it.
I want to work on our relationship but my partner won't come to counseling. If your partner is resistant to couples counseling we invite you to come in individually. While couples therapy is often most effective when both partners are willing to attend, there is a lot you can do on an individual basis to improve the dynamics of your relationship. In therapy, you can explore ways to handle conflict, build on your strengths and identity, build healthy boundaries, and find ways to be more genuinely yourself in the relationship. Resolve can help you gain clarity on your needs, feelings, and personal boundaries and help you develop clear and loving ways to express yourself to your partner. Often, when one person starts relationship counseling, it sets the tone for change. By taking the first step, you can create an atmosphere for healthy risk taking and make a positive impression on your partner. It may create the encouragement and safety needed for your partner to also become interested in couples counseling.
Marriage Counseling can take a lot of time and isn't cheap. Is it really worth it? Marriage counseling is an investment in yourself, your relationship, your family, your friendships, and your work. Stress in relationships affect ourselves and everyone around us. By working to reduce the tensions in your relationships you will residual benefits in multiple areas of life. Also, repairing your relationship here and now can save from costly legal bills resulting from separation and divorce and can help prevent the need for future individual counseling for yourself, your spouse, or your children resulting from living in a tense and worsening situation.
We have done therapy before and it didn't help. How will this time be different? It is understandable if you are pessimistic about couples counseling, especially if you have done it before. There are multiple factors in having a positive outcome in counseling, including the readiness of both partners to make meaningful changes, and the ability of the counselor to hear, connect with, and support both partners. It might be that now is the right time for both of you, whereas before one or both of you might not have been ready. Also, by working with Resolve you might find a different approach than your previous experiences. We don't just rehash fights from the past and we don't blame one partner or the other. We work to build an understanding of who the relationship has been co-created and how to work together to rebuild it.
There are a lot of therapists out there. Why should we choose you? There are many counselors out there, but not everyone has a passion for woking with couples or an understanding of the dynamics of relationship counseling. Resolve specializes in working with couples. As you work with us you will find:
Resolve has an informal and collaborative approach to build trust and security. Clients report that they feel like they can be themselves and don't feel intimidated here.
We will not team up with or against one partner or the other.
We will not blame an individual for the troubles in the relationship. We view relationships as being co-created by both individuals, and meaningful changes will need to be made by both parties.
We work with clients from an empathetic, understanding, and nonjudgmental framework.
We have flexible hours and a simple, online scheduling system.
So now what?
If you are still working through your struggles individually, you might find the articles on our website helpful. Resolve works to constantly put out articles for the community to help find ways through what you are dealing with. You can also like our Facebook Page, where we also post our articles in addition to ones written by other mental health professionals.
If you are ready to schedule your first appointment, you can do so by calling (913) 735-0577 or click the "Schedule an Appointment" button at the top of the page.