“There's nothing wrong if you quit something – it's actually a very necessary component to success. 'Quitting' just means you get to redirect your energy and focus to new and better things." -
Warren Buffett once said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” While I do not feel that I am prepared to say "no" to almost everything, I do feel empowered to say "No" to the things that are not best benefiting me and my mental wellness. There’s nothing wrong with you if you quit something--sometimes quitting is exactly what you need to do!
Young adults, Millennials, Generation XYZ (kidding ☺), whoever you may be, you’re may still be finding out who you are or who you want to be. Quitting things is going to be okay. Not only is it going to be okay, but it’s going to be imperative! Sometimes it’s worth quitting 99% of things you try just so you can find that 1% that really “clicks” with you.
Do you really expect your first shot at anything in life to be your best shot? It would be a pretty stress free life if the first time we attempted something it was always the best result.Part of the fun of experiencing life is to experience all of the trials and all of the errors; through all of these are when you discover who you are, what your interests are, and what you’re passionate about. It’s important to set goals for yourself, but it’s also important to remember that you can quit those goals and pursue new ones if you learn that those are not what set your soul on fire anymore.
Put it in the perspective of going to counseling. Sometimes you find your perfect counselor on the first try, but more than likely, you’ve had to try out a few different counselors before you could find one that was a great fit for you! So if you gave yourself the grace to try multiple counselors before finding the right fit, what’s stopping you from giving yourself the grace to try out multiple jobs, multiple schools, and multiple relationships?
Today I dare you to quit something.
I double dare you to quit something you feel trapped in.
I triple dog dare you to quit something that you’ve been thinking about quitting for a long time, but always let guilt overcome you causing you to stay!
You can do this! Branch out and try new things, you may just find the perfect fit is the thing that you thought was the most unlikely fit! Funny how life works out sometimes.
Andrea McDonald, Counseling Intern
"The more I begin to know, the more I realize HOW LITTLE I know." - Robin Helget
A few weeks ago, I met with a new colleague who is quickly becoming a good friend, Dr. Michael Brown with Nature's Path. During our existentialist conversation, he told me of this study where a scientist looked at the molecules of water. Now, typically, I would have zoned out at the word "molecules", but as he began explaining, he shared that this Japanese scientist took images of the molecules of water as they were freezing. I know what you're thinking, "Ok, so?"
He explained more in that when the scientist, Masaru Emoto, put words next to the water such as "Love", "Evil", "Grace", "Discomfort", etc., the water molecules photographed completely different. When he played Mozart compared to rap music compared to hip-hop, the molecules looked completely different.
Research suggests that our thoughts are physically impacting the brain. We know these thoughts impact how feel, but Emoto suggests that our thoughts are impacting every single thing in our life, including the water we drink and ingest. I know, I know. Mind. Blown. Need more information? I did too.
To see photographs of these images, please visit www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html
Our world is compromised of 70% water. Our bodies are made up of approximately 60%. Water is all around us. If our words, our thoughts, and our prayers or actions can impact something so complex like a water molecule, wouldn't our brains be impacted? Wouldn't it matter how we think or how we respond to other people?
What does this mean to me?
The more I begin to know, the more I realize how little I know.
Everything interacts with each other. Our words are powerful. This test has been done in multiple languages from multiple water sources, and the results are the same.
We are bigger influences on people and ourselves than we think.
Do good things.
Robin Helget, LMSW, CPT
Have you ever held resentment toward yourself, others, or a situation causing a knot in your stomach, tightness in your heart or tension in your body?
This disconnection or disharmony is not a comfortable place. It doesn’t ‘feel right’, because it is not a natural state of Being. And yet, it is a familiar experience for many of us. The stress caused by this habit of ‘holding on’ to bitterness or unresolved pain affects our quality of living.
Ho’opono Pono, the ancient Hawaiian practice of ‘setting things right,’ is the art of returning to Pono, our innate harmony with Self, Spirit, others and all of creation. Having lived in the grace of this Hawaiian way for twenty years provided me a fresh, Pacific perspective on forgiveness.
Crucial for the practice of Ho’opono Pono is the native Hawaiian wisdom of Aloha, Pono, and the Bowl of Light.
Aloha Spirit is the essence of everything Hawaiian. Aloha is the key element to Ho’opono Pono or ‘setting things right’. To live Aloha is to live knowing that we are the light and love of Spirit expressing through physical form.
Queen Lili’uokalani, (1883-1917) the last monarch and only queen of the Kingdom of Hawai’i, provides an intimate look at the sacred essence of the greeting of Aloha.
“Aloha was a recognition of life in another. If there was life there was mana (life-energy), goodness and wisdom, and if there was goodness and wisdom there was a god-quality. One had to recognize the ‘god of life’ in another before saying ‘Aloha,’ but this was easy. Life was everywhere…. Aloha had its own mana. It never left the giver but flowed freely and continuously between giver and receiver. ‘Aloha’ could not be thoughtlessly or indiscriminately spoken, for it carried its own power. No Hawaiian could greet another with ‘Aloha’ unless he felt it in his own heart. If he felt anger or hate in his heart he had to cleanse himself before he said ‘Aloha’.”
To live Aloha:
Pono, literally means right or righteousness. “According to actor Jason Scott Lee, who grew up in Hawai’i, living pono means living with a conscious decision to do the right thing in terms of self, others, and the environment.”
Pono is being at one with everything, knowing that all life flows from the same source. There is a deep sense of alignment and harmony in the state of pono. The ancient Hawaiians were attuned to the world of natural signs - the stars, ocean, wind, birds, fish. This pono awareness is how they navigated thousands of miles in the vast Pacific to reach the shores of Hawai’i around 242AD.
To live Pono:
Bowl of Light – In early Hawaiian times, there was a custom that before a child was born a family member would carve them a bowl. The bowl was presented to the child and during their childhood the following ancient Hawaiian story would be shared:
Each child has, at birth, a bowl of perfect light. If he tends to his light, it will grow in strength and he can do all things - swim with sharks, fly with the birds, know and understand all things.
If however, he becomes envious, jealous, angry, or fearful, he drops a stone into his bowl of light and some of the light goes out. Light and the stone cannot hold the same space.
If he continues to put stones in the bowl, the light will go out and he will become a stone himself. A stone does not grow, nor does it move.
If at any time he tires of being a stone, all he needs to do is turn the bowl upside down and the stones will fall away and the light will grow once more.
Tales from the Night Rainbow
Pali Lee & Koko Willis, 1987
To tend your Bowl of Light:
Each person is responsible for the caring and clearing of their own bowl. Daily living often pulls us out of alignment with ourselves, others and our world and we end up with more stones in our bowl. According to Mahealani Kuamo’o-Henry from the Big Island of Hawai’i, the practice of Ho’opono Pono is “about recognizing how best we can respond to life in order to navigate ourselves through the moment to moment adventures…”
The literal meaning of Ho’opono Pono is: ho’o - ‘to set’; pono – ‘right’ twice. The 1st ‘setting right’ is with our self, the 2nd ‘setting right’ is with another or a situation. Once we return to personal harmony, our self-respect is activated, our boundaries become clear, and life-giving choices are obvious.
Forgiveness the Hawaiian way:
Presence of Aloha – Absence of Judgment
Pono – Being right with Self, Others, all of Creation
Honor your ‘Bowl of Light’ and release resentments
Right Action flows from being in Harmony with Self
If you would like to ‘set things right’ with yourself, others or any aspect of your life, we are available in person, online or over the phone.
ILENE KIMSEY, PhD
Wholistic Life Coach
Resolve – Counseling and Wellness