1. You have noticed a change in your thoughts, mood, or motivation. Low mood is one of the main complaints of clients who are overcoming depression, as well as a lack of motivation to complete tasks that they would typically be able to complete.
2. You are isolating yourself from others. This could include avoiding making plans with people who you would normally enjoy being around or simply spending a large amount of your free time without people.
3. You have started drinking or smoking more than in the past. A change in substance use behaviors often signifies an increase in stress without a healthy way of coping with it.
4. You find yourself not answering the phone or replying to texts because it seems too overwhelming. Not answering the phone is typically an avoidant behavior when a person feels too overwhelmed with life.
5. You are having trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep. Having healthy sleep patterns are a fundamental part of overall health; without sleep we lose the ability to cognitively function and cope with any life stressors.
6. You think the same thought over and over again throughout the day. Everyone has thoughts they may think a few times a day, but if it has moved into a pattern that is distressing to you it has become rumination. Rumination is the main trait of a person who is going through an anxiety disorder.
7. You have started missing work or not following through on obligations. A change in behaviors that may impact your profession and your personal life, is a clear indicator of increased stress.
8. Your friends/family have mentioned that you seem different. When those people who know you the best begin to worry about you, it is a sure sign that you would likely benefit from a tune up therapy session.
9. You are blowing up at things that used to only frustrate you. If you are finding that you have a shorter fuse, are irritated more easily and feel angry more than in the past you may benefit from acquiring some anger management skills or addressing the situation that is making you angry.
10. You are spending many hours a day on your phone scrolling through apps. Phones can be the ultimate avoidant technique, allowing us to disconnect while still feeling connected. An increase in cell phone use can be an indicator of boredom with life, increased stress or unhappiness.
If you feel that any of the above mentioned symptoms are true in your life right now, reach out to Resolve to see how you can stop only surviving and start thriving.
Trust is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. The most significant relationship in life is with your Self.
How would you rate your level of self-trust?
I trust myself:
0% - 10% of the time
10% - 30% of the time
30% - 50% of the time
50% - 75% of the time
75% - 100% of the time
Trust is innate to our connection to our Self. Observe a baby for five minutes, and you will see their trusting communication loop. When something is not OK in an infant’s world, (hungry, wet, tired) they show their discomfort immediately. In turn, if all is OK in the moment, satisfaction is expressed. As we grow, we explore our world and expand our communication loop of ‘what feels good’ and ‘what doesn’t’. A four-year old at play is not attempting to figure out if the swing or the merry-go-round is the best use of their time. They simply choose what brings them the most joy in the moment.
“Developmental psychologist, Erik Erikson observed that our interaction between ourselves and the environment begins with the stage of ‘basic trust vs mistrust’. When trust is nurtured it expands.”
As we get older our natural rhythm and inner guidance system often gets suppressed. During the middle years, a child may learn to disconnect from their emotions, opinions and ideas because their home or school environment is not supportive or safe. Intense peer pressure in the teen years can cause adolescents to disregard their own inner guidance system in order to ‘fit in.’
Over time the intuitive awareness that once guided our rhythm and choices may get clogged with others’ beliefs or attitudes. We may become conditioned to seek outside approval or value others’ opinions over our own. This can create self-doubt, perfectionism, excessive anxiety or fear of failure.
The gift of self-trust is that it lies at our core, we simply need to re-activate the resource.
Choose to T-R-U-S-T and you will renew your healthy relationship with your Self.
U Unconditional Love
Be honest with your Self. Turn inward with your first breath of the day and connect with your true essence. Experience your life-force. Through-out the day be aware of what you know as true from your core.
Respect your Self. Honor ALL of who you are – insights, instinct, rhythm, values, skills, interests, strengths, challenges, wisdom, and more. Respond to yourself with Respect.
3. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Unconditionally accept your Self. You are Unique – there is Only One You! Be aware of the messages you are giving your Self through your thoughts, feelings, and gut response to what is happening in the moment. Listen and begin to be understand your communication with your Self.
Make life-giving choices. Treat yourself in a caring way by choosing thoughts, feelings, food, and relationships that nourish your well-being. Allow yourself compassion as you move through life’s challenges.
Express gratitude for life. As you continue to accept your life as a precious gift, your trust will expand and your appreciation deepen. Your renewed T-R-U-S-T will reach out and change your world from the inside-out.
“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life.” -- Golda Meir, former Prime Minister of Israel
If you are ready to activate your self-trust and develop healthier relationships in your life, Ilene would be honored to work with you. Contact her at 913.353.6867 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Ilene Kimsey, PhD
Resolve Counseling and Wellness